What Can We Learn From Bad Relationships

Jun 25, 2015 at 6:12 pm |

What Can We Learn From Bad Relationships?

couple fighting

(Photo by Geralt / pixabay.com)

We all need bad relationships to find the good ones. Why is going through past crummy relationships beneficial to entering a healthy one? You learn so much about yourself and what you want when you have dealt with negatives and overcoming obstacles. “Without anything to compare your happiness to, how can you know if it’s real happiness?” asks Elite Daily. It’s ok to make mistakes because you learn from them. Plus, you feel like you’ve earned the happiness you deserve.

We’ve all had bad romantic partners. I’ve dated losers and have had codependent relationships. My last serious boyfriend was a stoner who ate all my snacks and refused to buy groceries because he couldn’t “afford” them. My reply? “If you can buy weed, you can buy groceries.” Dating someone who was unemployed made me demand that my significant other have a job with a living wage and can support themselves. You can learn your standards, your limits, responsibility and communication.

happy couple relationship

(Photo by 873770 / Pixabay.com)

I think this outlook also applies to dating. I was single for about three years and wanting a relationship, but didn’t want to settle down with “good enough”. I’ve been on what seems like hundreds of bad dates. One first date went well and I was excited about the prospect of dating someone new. Unfortunately he got really drunk and asked me if I used condoms. I said, “You’re not gonna find out now.” What’d I learn (besides the obvious)? Not to settle and that having high standards isn’t a bad thing.

We can even expand this to friendships. Everyone has had toxic friendships even though we didn’t know they were bad for us at the time. Maybe a girl friend that talked trash behind your back? A woman at work side-eyed your boyfriend? For me, a “friend” accidentally sent me an email where she was talking about how negative I was. I cried and later learned a valuable lesson: A good friend should consult with you in honesty such as asking questions and not becoming a backstabber. Breaking up with negative friends will make you more selective about who you let into your life. Maybe you’re more guarded, or have trust issues, but once you let someone worthy in they will be accepting and supportive of you.

What have you learned from bad relationships?

What have you learned from bad relationships?